Fighting to Believe
It is a very scary place to be when you feel that you almost do not believe in God. Wait, what? Yes, I said it. I almost do not believe in God. Why do I say almost? Because deep down in the very depths of my heart, there is this teeny tiny ounce of hope that God is good, He is enough, He is not just a mean God putting me through hell, and He has a love for even me that I cannot understand fully. I am at a point in my life right now where there is a strong spiritual war happening in my heart, the strongest I have ever felt it. I can either turn completely away from God, or I can run fully toward Him with the very little faith I have left in me. The enemy is trying to pull me away and take this last ounce of faith I have in my heart. He is trying to fill my mind with lies that God does not care about me, that He is not enough, that He is putting me through all of this just to be mean and make my life a living hell. He is telling me that I am not enough, that I am not doing a good job a...