Kaylyn's Knowledge

Wow. Sunday was surreal. Being baptized can do that I guess. For me, this was a different baptism. I had been baptized before…twice actually.  The first time was because I saw everyone being baptized, so I thought it was the thing to do. The second time was because I was joining a church that was of a different denomination than the first, and I just chose baptism as how I wanted to join. This third time was very different for me. Back in August I genuinely made Jesus the lord and savior over my life.  I had been playing games with Him for too long. I had been running from the truth for too long.  I had been fighting battles by myself for too long. It was all too long, but God won the chase. He won my heart. I finally surrendered my mess, my broken, my ugly all to Him. And it was glorious! On Sunday I made that decision public in front of friends, Cho-fam, and strangers. And this baptism actually meant something to me. I genuinely was “buried with Christ and was ...

I have now been out of the hospital for about two months. Some days it seems like forever ago, and then, there are days that seem like it was just yesterday that I was there. Since my hospital stay and my blog posts began, I have gotten numerous messages regarding what I have written about. Most of these messages are from people encouraging me to keep going and letting me know they are praying for me.  Then, there are the small handful that are messaging me because they are going through a lot of the same things that I write about. These are the ones I write for. These are the ones I pray for as I am on my journey. These are the ones my heart aches for because I know the struggle. These are the ones that I hope find the freedom that I have found in Christ. These are the ones that I long for them to find the hope that I have found. These are the ones I want oh so badly to find genuine joy in their lives. These are the ones I wish could see their worth. These are the ones that I...

Broken - having been fractured or damaged and no longer in one piece or in working order. This is the definition when you google broken. I relate so much to that definition. Broken spirit. Broken mind. Broken spirit. I find myself angry at God. (Gasp) I know, right? How can someone be angry with God? Honestly, it is pretty easy actually. As I am on this journey of healing, I find my relationship with God needs healing, but in order to get to that point, I have to be honest with Him. This is me being honest with Him. I was journaling a few weeks ago and pouring my anger out to God. Do you know what I wrote in my journal? "I hate You, God." Wow. I never thought I would say that. I am angry at Him for allowing the sexual abuse to occur. I am angry at Him for letting my parents get a divorce. I am angry that he took my grandmother away from me. I am angry at Him for taking one of my best friend's dad away when she was only 23. I am angry that he took my other best friend...